As I’ve dealt with a gauntlet of health issues over the past 18 months I’ve developed a playful sort of relationship to my Self. While I’m grateful to have moved past my corporate career, there are many aspects of business organization that just *work* for my brain.
So….I relate to my Self as an Enterprise, Team Sunni.
And the Body Division is basically a big factory with lots of Departments, Ingestion, Digestion, Cleansing, Waste Removal, Circulation, etc.
There was a large Team Sunni wide announcement made recently that I’ve decided to make public.
Team Sunni, Body Division : Internal Memo
RE: Retirement of Ms. Gallbladder
To: All systems and departments in the Body Division
As many of you know, the Cleansing Department received a very low productivity score during the 2015 review cycle. After investigation we discovered that Ms. Gallbladder was the primary reason. She had been reporting malfunctions for some time and with no clear communication path to leadership had been trying to handle it herself.
We took extreme measures over 2016, involving both the Mind and Spirit Divisions, to support her. Mind Division even set aside Desires and allowed us to stop processing alcohol and dairy entirely in an attempt to allow Ms. Gallbladder time to bounce back.
Last week we consulted outside experts who have confirmed that the damage to our beloved Ms. GallBladder is bad enough that the Cleansing Department will be able to function more efficiently without her. After the latest Leadership Meeting Body, Mind and Spirit unanimously agreed to, given her 35 years of service, offer her early retirement and she has accepted. Be sure to say your goodbyes and thank her for her years of service. Ms. Gallbladder’s last day with Team Sunni will be March 20th.
We will be taking the day off on March 20th to allow the Cleansing Department time to adjust to the loss.
There has been some ongoing impact to up and down stream departments. So the Ingestion and Digestion departments should experience an almost immediate improvement in working conditions. Since Mr. Liver will be taking on Ms. Gallbladder’s duties we ask that everyone give him, and his buddy Pancreas, extra support for the next few months. The Mind Division will support you by being very strict about what products we process for a while to ensure minimal impact on the Waste Removal team.
While it will be painful and sad to say goodbye to good ol’ Gall, we believe her departure will allow us to return to our 2014 productivity numbers in a matter of weeks.
This will be the biggest loss to the team since the Wisdom Tooth gang outgrew their space in 2000. Every single department and member in Team Sunni is valued, and the loss of Gall is not being taken lightly.
Over the past year of addressing this issue Leadership has made good on their commitment to more thoroughly review department reports from every member of the team. Thanks to everyone for actively participating in the morning meditation check ins. We have also recently integrated a new resource, Reiki, to do an in depth review with every department. Please cooperate and be as open as possible when Reiki comes to visit you.
Our goal is to keep Team Sunni intact for another 35 years, the suggestion box is always open and reviewed not only by the Body Division, but also Mind and Spirit for ways we can guarantee our success.
This is, straight up, how I communicate and relate to my Self. The fun part, I shared this with my ‘outside expert’ (aka Surgeon) during my pre-op appointment, and he totally played with me in it! When I asked him how my body would compensate once Ms. Gallbladder was gone he didn’t miss a beat before replying “Mr. Liver will take over her duties”.